Counselling for Toads - by Robert De Board #

Date Read: 2023-11-03 #

Notes #

Ego states

Parent, Adult, Child

Critical Parent

judgemental
authoritarian
angry
severe

Nurturing Parent

reassuring
caring
encouraging
supportive
understanding

Adult

non judgemental
open minded
interested
confident
reality based

Rebellious Child

defiant
complaining

Adapted Child

compliant
passive

Free Child

curious
energetic
fun loving
spontaneous

Adult state when you can learn something of yourself, when you are not driven by the voices of your parents and not swamped by the feelings of your childhood.

Four life positions

I’m OK; You’re OK

Healthy position - we’re making progress

I’m not OK; You’re OK

The one-down position - I wish I could do that as well as you

I’m OK; You’re not OK

The one-up position - You’re not doing that right, let me show you
NIGYYSOB (Now I Got You YSOB)
“Why do you always let me down”

I’m not OK; You’re not OK

The hopeless position - This is terrible, we’ll never make it

Emotional Intelligence - go beyond being independent to being interdependent - maturity and self-acceptance, together with an acceptance of others in spite of their differences.